律师之道（一）如何在法律文件中准确使用英文之英文写作技巧（下）

结构合理、逻辑严谨

1文件架构

律师起草法律文件应该将文件视为一个整体。条款与条款之间，段落与段落之间的逻辑关系必须合理、流畅。如果可能，重要和频繁出现的条款应该出现在非重要或不太频繁出现的条款前面。尽量保持文件的简洁，文件应该只包括与交易相关的必要条款。应使用标题引导读者;如果对文件的理解有帮助，可以使用图表和表格;应该将标准条款放在文件最后。

2条款

一般而言，法律文件的条款大致包括如下内容：

(1)背景：文件条款适用的背景情况;

(2)条件：文件条款适用的前提条件;

(3)对象：谁有权利行动，或有义务行动;

(4)行动：行动的对象是什么。

3定义

使用独立的定义条款。

定义可以是包含式的，例如：“Land includes...”，

或者是穷尽式的，例如：“Land means...”。

在定义条款中定义的词语含义与其通常的含义不同时，需要格外小心。

定义条款时：

(1)尽量直接使用当事方名称(而非甲方、乙方，等等);

(2)避免过多的缩写;

(3)避免定义不常出现的名词;

(4)避免在定义条款中约定实质性条款;

(5)可以在实质性条款中定义词语(defining terms “on site”);

(6)避免重复。

[例]

下面是在实质性条款中定义词语的例子：

“Indemnity Amounts” has the meaning given in Clause 5.5 of this Agreement....

5.5 The sum of the amounts determined by Acme and payable under this Clause 5 is referred to as the “Indemnity Amounts” and shall be paid by River Bank to Acme in accordance with Clause 7 below or, in the event that No Final Shortfall Amount is payable, within 7 (seven) Business Days after River Bank receives a demand in writing from Acme.

有的时候，可以通过排除另一个概念的方式定义词语。

“PRC Commercial Bank” means a commercial bank established in the PRC (other than a Foreign Invested Bank).

“Foreign Invested Bank” means any bank that is established in the PRC and is owned, as to twenty-five per cent. (25%) or more of its equity interest, by one (1) or more entities established outside the PRC.

4时间

在合同中明确时间可以最大程度地避免合同当事方之间的误解。避免含糊的表述(例如：“forthwith”，“immediately”,“as soon as possible”或者“within a reasonable time”)。尽可能将行为发生的期限准确至“日”或“月”。明确期限的开始或结束要格外小心，类似“by”，“from”或“until”这样的词语可能会产生歧义。

明确主语

的法条经常没有主语，如果要去翻译法律规定的话经常会觉得不知道主语是谁，所以律师起草法律文件的时候就要尽量把这个主语补充上。比如外国投资者应该如何，或者买方卖方，如果律师知道主语的话都应该补充出来。

[例]

我们看这个例子，第一个和第二个哪个更好?

Regardless of Client's preparation of information, packaging and labeling of products in accordance with this information does not constitute Client's assumption of product responsibility. Further, no warranty,expressed or implied, arises from technical information that either the distributor or any successor of the distributor as defined by the Agreement places on the labels.

Although the information is prepared by Client, Client does not assume responsibility for products that are packaged and labeled in accordance with this information. Further, Client will not be deemed to have made any warranty, expressed or implied, about technical information which has been placed on the labels by the distributor or by any successor of the distributor as defined by the Agreement.

第二个的写法是更好的。大家看第一个的主语，是“packaging and labeling of products”，我们很有可能这样写，因为这很有可能就是法条的原话。但是律师应该把它变成对客户说出来的话，将“client”变为第一主语，这样客户会觉得律师是在跟他说话。这个主语要跟client有关系，大家都会从自己的角度，要写到自己才会觉得这件事情跟自己有关系。所以这个例子告诉我们，读者通常会从角色来理解这句话的意思，而角色经常是在主语中出现，应该想办法把主语写成这句话强调的对象。如果律师不确定客户是哪个角色，可以推而广之说company，或owner，或tax payer之类。律师要让客户找得到他是这句话所说的对象。Law provides that foreign investors ...就可以改为under Law, foreign investors...

有效传递信息

英文写作的另一个要点是文书写作应实现传递重要信息的效果。

[例]

下面这些标题，前几个就是简单地把信息表达出来了，但是最后一句话就能让读者体会到有一个针对性的重要信息在里面。

a. Court's preliminary holding In Re: Compu-drive.

b. Court offers preliminary interpretations of Directive 26/871.

c. Court issues holding on trade marks.

d. Court clarifies protections for trademark rights.

e. Court rules on exhaustion of trade mark rights.

f. Court says contract restrictions did not preserve trademark rights.

这样对于读者来说他就觉得你给他提出了一个问题，而且还传达了一个重要信息。

重点突出

英文一般将它的注意力放在句尾提供的信息。不同的说法对客户的吸引程度其实是不一样的，强调的内容应该放在后面，用but等连接词来调整它的语序。

[例]

The process of equity offers a significant chance for recovery, but we must admit that there are added risks given that the court is likely to be sympathetic to the opposing side‘s situation.

Although the court is likely to be sympathetic to the defendant’s situation, there is a significant chance for recovery by using the process of equity.

文章内容截取自北京大学出版社2010年出版的《律师之道